After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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