i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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