Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i black out too much to be "responsible"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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