K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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