Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
