go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Randomize
