He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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