Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
