The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
