my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
