I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
