the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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