he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize