I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wanna passion pit in your ass
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
