He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
try to milk me bitch
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