Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
