my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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