Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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