We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
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Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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