K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
