saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
