i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
