I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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