it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
