fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
