Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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