ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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