recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
