I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
