Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
