It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
