he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
