Non-Jews are for practice
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
