I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
