my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
