one two three fourrrrnication!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
