I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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