This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
