You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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