420 ftw
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
