It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
