i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
