this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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