This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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