Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
