She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
