They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize