I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
