I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
