hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
