Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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