I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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