that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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