i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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