You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
