Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
