I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
