...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
