You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
