Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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