he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
