can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
A bitchslap is in order.
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