Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
