You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
