seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
