you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
