i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
